please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
