Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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