Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
