Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
