and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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