He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
