Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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