After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
