Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
should my penis look like a turkey
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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