My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
