He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
