So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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