at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize