i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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