i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize