One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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