Can Purell be used as lube?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize