just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
