you're like a bully in the Christmas story
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
