I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I want her autograph on my taint
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
