Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we made out on top of his cat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
