No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
