sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
