I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
