Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
