My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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