apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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