You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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