very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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