no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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