there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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