just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
