i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
