this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
