We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
