the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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