We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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