About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
