i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
