Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So here I am, sexting at work.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
