dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
