1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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