dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to make out with him forever
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
