All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
