If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Let's get the cat blown out
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
