we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
