I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The beers last night were like the tears from god
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
