I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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