And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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