ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
