have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
