Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
