i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
