There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
