he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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