I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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