Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Houston, we have a squirter
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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