she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
