there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
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You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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